you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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