I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
cat food counts as protein by the way
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
