just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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