Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
...so i touched it.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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