Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
