Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
