If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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