if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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