Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my being single is dangerous.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
