I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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