You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
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is this the sara with the beer cane?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
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I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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