what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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