Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
