I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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