this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
