Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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