dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
