When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
