Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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