My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
