I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
