Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
