If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize