It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
