dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
