did you get engaged???
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
