I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
