Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
