i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
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if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
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My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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