I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
