I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
pray to the hookup gods
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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