Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
