I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I want her autograph on my taint
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
