i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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