I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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