Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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