Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
