Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
and she was petting her beer can
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
