Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
