I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Michael Bay diarrhea
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
