He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
