And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I use my feet as sexual weapons
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
