at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The Olympian is in my bed
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
