Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I puked a lego.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
