you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
