Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
