spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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