forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
