It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
