big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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