We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
