big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My breasts were aching with rage.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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