I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
