i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Randomize