let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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